How do you feel?
“I feel great or I’m not ok.”
“What’s wrong?” you may ask back.
“I’m upset … such and such has happened to me.” ( Or, “ so and so did this or that to me.”)
One very simple question can lead to a life-changing experience.
And, the conversation usually ends something like this: “That’s a shame…” Or, “I’m sorry you feel this way.”
What would happen if I let the person who is upset just vent and go on and on about a situation? —Just listen until the person finishes, and then ask,
“Have you experienced this feeling before?”
“ What do you mean?
“I mean have you ever felt what you’re feeling, before?” There may be a pause; maybe even a long sigh.
”When my father came home drunk … but what does that have to do with what’s going on now? This person made me feel this way, because they did this (or didn’t do that). I am sick and tired of it.”
“Well, tell me. What are you sick and tired of? I ask.
“You know, every time he is angry it’s almost like he wants me to get upset. For example…” and then it starts again, on and on about the other person —and we’re back to the original conversation.
Maybe she just wants to vent; I listen until she gets exhausted. I get exhausted too. :)
This is what used to happen between a good friend of mine and me. It wasn’t the first time. I’d listened to how she felt many times; yet I couldn’t help her. In fact, I had many friends that got stuck in the same endless situation, experiencing the same emotions, the same feelings, again and again. I had tried “to fix it” for them, talking for hours, until I was blue in the face.
How could I really help my friends?
I used to have my own story that I told over and over, too. I got sick and tired of being stuck myself. Why do I need to feel this way?
We repeat the same scenario until our back is up against the wall, or we find ourselves on our knees. It’s not unusual to be stuck; but, for how long? How long can we do the same thing and expect different results?
I remember I asking myself,
“Haven’t I experienced this feeling before?”
After much reflection I had an interesting realization: I had to take responsibility for the way I feel —and I had to learn to do it with detachment from the situation, or from the person.
And then, I came to another realization:
I was addicted to the way it felt.
It was a vicious circle I had been trapped in for a long time. It was time to change….
Acknowledging an emotion can start the process of healing it.
We don’t change until we’re forced to, and no one can make us change —unless we want to.
How long will it take us to realize that all we’re doing is energetically-drawing outside situations and people to us, to help us heal? They help us to heal, to regain our wholeness. These situations are there for us. They happen for us, not to us.
So what can we do for our friends? and for ourselves? Tell them the truth:
I will only support your magnificence….not the drama.
The truth can be recognized by the heart. The heart does not get offended or rejected. The heart and the soul know the games our personality plays.
Maybe it’s time for all of us to to be truly honest, to ask ourselves an essential question:
What is the one emotion I experience over and over, regardless of the situation or people around me?
Emotions don’t depend on time or space; they can be reached at anytime and from anywhere.
We carry our past experiences into the now, in the form of sorrow, of pain, disappointment and abandonment, of burdens, need for approval, judgment, self criticism, frustration, guilt, resentment, anger, etc.
We bury our emotions, yet they are still alive, they keep coming back—making us frustrated, creating deeper dissatisfaction.
And then we might ask ourselves:
Why do I feel like I’m drowning?
Emotions that remain unresolved, grow; they become heavier. We end up wearing them like stones around our neck.
How do I get out of this endless circle?
Acknowledge. Accept. Reintegrate.
It takes courage and determination. The intensity of our desire to change is reflected in the outcome. The desire to change starts us on a journey of (re)integrating our self.
Being a transformational life coach, energy healer and shaman has helped to steer me to the questions I need to guide others, and myself, towards healing and transformation. I may be able to help you…
Let’s unravel and heal your repetitive emotions together.
Book a Transformational Coaching session with me, and experience my system to help identify unresolved emotions and blockage. It is a reading based on the energetic healing of the Spiral, that can accurately help you understand and get beyond your unresolved emotions. Read more about the Spiral reading /coaching.
If you prefer to do it on your own, my “Quest Cards” are also available for purchase.
No matter what has happened, or not happened to you; no matter what you may have or may not have done, we are all here to experience fulfillment, joy, love and true happiness.
So…. how can I support your magnificence?
“So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key” – Well here it is… You can build the life you want, one so exciting and filled with wonder that you can’t wait for next day and the excitement it holds. Transformational liife coaching works, pure, plain, and simple. Quit hurting and start living, I did!
Yes, life coaching indeed works! Try TANZA as a life maintenance tool.