Conversation with my wound character
So there is a scar that I have lived with for as long I remember myself
I have patched it in a way and become accustomed to the way it feels. At one time was a deep open wound and will jump anytime someone close to me touched it. This morning as I look at my scar I smiled. I touched it with my gaze and memories flashed as an open band. If felt comforting in a way to see an evidence of my life path within myself Not material one but deeply emotional. What I felt was evidence of love, Evidence of movements, evidence of a life lived Me and my wound this morning are having coffee together as old intimate friends. I see you my wound more clear now I have spun on my spiral and see you from a different angle now I use you as an Anker a point of reference to where I was emotionally and where I am now
I feel more accepting of you now and the role you have played in my life
I respect your power I am sorry for what has happened to you I am You have been there to help me, after all, to teach me and guide me through this life. I will be lost without you in a vastness of this world, yet you have been my home and my friend all this time I was angry at you I was experiencing you as my enemy yet all you wanted from me always was to let you heal and transform Now you as old as I am. We have grown up, you have become more mature and more discreet. What is that you want to express now. If we were seating in the court and you had to defend yourself what would you say to the court, to me? What is your highest purpose?
The Wound: My highest porpoise is to give you life my dear Tzveta. without me, you could not be here. I stand here in front of all of your emotional parts that have been playing on the stage, yet is because of me I am your very life your very reason to live. I have wounded your mother and have wounded you so I can give you life. It is a sign of life and great love misunderstood. I know what I am and what I cause.It is pain, yet life-giving pain, necessary for you all to be here.
Me: I see you now you are so very powerful, necessary and your presence has brought us all here. I respect your power dear wound. I see you. How do you experience your life with me? what is your side of the story?
The Wound: I know my ultimate reason to be what I am I have felt condemned, stuffed in the dark cellular called names, screamed at, yet I have been always here for you. I will show up in times when you lost your way I will hold you in my embrace when you stepped away from your path, I will stand strong as you denied me and reject ed me. I needed you to feel me so you could grow and push and see what is really important. You are my child one way or another way you are because of me. I am life-giving force as similar to your mother yet more powerful than her. As you have worked with your mother in the past you have become closer to understand me. As your mother pushed your buttons I am more severe in my love and embrace. All I wanted from you is to listen and pay attention to what is truly important to you. I am your navigator as a GPS. I hurt when you are off your direction. I will insist you return to me and listen to me.
Your stomach hurt since teenage just to take you on a path of discovering something The pain was necessary to guide you with food so you can make necessary adjustments. All I demanded is honesty with yourself and paying attention to me, be open and receptive. Through this gut pain, I have guided you and pushed you to become the woman you are now. Through my emotional pain, you have experienced I showed you that you had to go in the direction of the pain and go through it where is the light, the other side There is a veil, right where the wound is and all you need is to enter it. It looks like a dark tunnel and it feels scary and dangerous, yet only through this darkness, the shadow you can enter the true real life of this life. There is a gate that is guarded by 2 guards ( you met them at Vista experience ) and if you pass their test they will let you go into this world. You have attempted many times to go there and claim your treasure. your life. Claiming it being brave enough to face your darkest fears in the eyes. This second life is not given. Only the wound is given to everyone but there is life beyond this life that you see with your eyes. A life that is only for the one that has entered me back. Back in is the direction to the Original you. Countercheck as your DaVinci Spiral activation model. Time goes back and inwards. You knew this but now you know why is backward. You have felt it. Now you have more clarity You have always sensed it yet you were not sure. I have 2 sides of myself
One side is painful and harsh, destructive and hurtful and most people run from me and condemn me then there is the other side of me. When you have stayed in your pain and have surrendered to me I have given you a glimpse of your second life. I can show you unimaginable treasures and I will reveal to you things, not of this world. This is what the promised kingdom is. The entrance is through me in this life no- where else to be found. This is the reason you are here my Dear Tzveta. This is the reason all souls are here.
Me: ( listening with open mouth )
…. for those that have denied me and made me as their enemy, I reveal only one side of me. Their rejection is their demise and denial to this other world. But those who have looked me in the eyes and say Yes to me I have given the kingdom of their second life with unimaginable beauty. That’s why so many souls are here now. This is the reason there is so much pain in the world now, suffering so much and such a despair. This is my call. It is urgent and will get even worst. But still many are perceiving it as an enemy- so I am. Each one has its own journey to walk. This is the split that is created. Entering me is more necessary than ever before. I am your life-giver once then I am your light giver – your second life, second chance Your redemption is through me. Some souls will come here to lead the way and they have accepted me from a very young age, they populate my kingdom. I have shown them the treasures and they are sharing their stories, they lead the way. Go and share your stories Tzveta. Share my story with the world.
Me: How the Red Riding Hood fits in your story?
The Wound: The Red Riding Hood story is so real. The wolf character is me in disguise. I have to eat you first so you can be reborn again and see life differently. I have to consume you first. So the question of yours What life wants from me is great to ask. To enter me and surrender disappear in my dark womb Returning in the wound- womb, so you can resurrect again anew and refresh with purity and clarity As you give yourself to me I will take you to a magical world.
So I am here in your court today not to defend or justify my behavior but to explain to you why am I.
I am not personal I don’t hold graduates over you. I am here to make you grow as your mother, your true mother that holds you yet push you to grow. I have only one wish for you, to surrender to me so I can devour you and take you to the other side. You may reject me but you can never escape my embrace. And if you don’t, I know we will meet again in your next life. It is all good my child.
THAT IS ALL I can say
Me: Thank you ( I need to integrate this conversation )
I want to add something to the story above “The court case was dismissed. All charges were dropped. The judge gave its resignation and took a long vacation to discover more of life without judging … All participants were taken by surprise. The Wound clapped its hands with great excitement and a little grin on its face. No one in the court -room knew what was about to happen next….and who after all wanted to know any way in moment like this” ……. to be continued